CaLiForNiA...

Here's what we've been up to...three weeks ago...Long Beach, CA.

Last Week...Holbrook, Az

This Week....starting tomorrow...Santa Monica, CA HERE WE COME!!!

Madison's Photo Shoot...

Jenna had to do a photoshoot for her photography class in school so i tagged along to get a few pics of Madi .....she is the perfect model. She knows just how to pose and when to smile.

I Love EaSteR...

Jason and I got to play the Easter Bunny for Leslie & Brooke this year!! It was so much fun trying to hide that many eggs in places that we thought were worth our efforts. We tried to make it as difficult as possible especially since there was money and goodies inside...we made sure they had to work for it. :) I love these girls!! They are just gorgeous!!

Yep you found it in the thorny rose bush...like I said this wasn't your traditional random placing of the eggs..we really thought this through. lol

I wish that is all I had to do to put that darn egg up there!! :) Note to self: Brooke is a bean pole and can reach places I never thought possible without climbing on something.

My Sporty Hubby....

Jason has been a busy boy. We both have been working extra hours but of course he has found time to play on a volleyball team since it is one of his favorite things to do...

His team was made up of some great people and won the whole tournament!!

He looks too cute!!
Focus honey FOCUS!!

I can't believe Jenna is already a Junior!! It's so crazy to watch her hate high school as much as I did. LOL I guess that is why I had so much sympathy for her when I wasn't working and I would take her out even if just for lunch to get away. :) Ok that or I was just bored..

She is one talented Lacrosse player!
Jenna had her last game and being the good big brother and big sister Brandon and I attended to cheer her on and boooo at the refs. Although I got yelled at by the ref for screaming "Let them play!!!" I wouldn't have missed it.

Utah March 2009

On March 1st Jason and I went up to Utah so that we could be there when our nephew Brigham received his baby blessing from his daddy Judd. It was such a sweet blessing and we loved being there for their special moment. Jamie and Judd were the perfect hosts and we had so much fun spending time with them. Brigham is such an adorable lil' boy. Grandpa Rick met Brigham for the first time and on our way to their house that first night he told us all, "I don't think I can wait any longer I have butterflies in my stomach." I thought it was so sweet that he was so anxious to meet his first little grand baby. This pic is so sweet not just because Brigham is wide eyed staring at his grandparents but because Rick and Ev are totally engulfed in this lil' baby boy. It made me think of how lucky I was to be raised with both sets of my grandparents and my great grandma & grandpa Gardner. They taught me so much and I am a better person because they were always there for me. I am so excited for Mom & Dad Bryson to experience this next milestone in their life. And what would Utah be without a stop by Tai Pan with JD!!! We had so much fun wandering around this enormous store for hours. I don't think we bought much but we had fun finding interesting things....like this huge chick! Seriously who buys something like that and what would you do with it? Thanks for keeping me company JD and carting me around everywhere since I was lame-o and didn't have a car. :)

Happy Anniversary....

Aren't we Cute? We were just dating in this pic almost 5 years ago!!

Jason & I celebrated our 4 Year Anniversary on the 17th!! We had a fun filled weekend snuggling while we watched plenty of rented movies and went out to dinner. Last night Jason brought home dinner and we just hung out and watched our shows until we passed out from our long day at work. It may not have been the most romantic or memorable night but those are the nights I love because it's just us being "us"

I can't believe it has been 4 years already!! Jason is my best friend and he has really stuck in there with me over the last couple years. I don't know what I would do without him.

Here's a few of the things I love about Jace..... :)

*He always gives me a kiss when he leaves to go out & when he get's home from work.

*He is the official Mail Man for our house.

*He shakes his spoon or fork when he loves whatever he is eating.

*He can't handle spicy food & without fail always get's a runny nose from it.

*More times than I can count he let's me pick the restaurant.

*He loves to be active.

*He is always so worried about my cold feet & hands. He'll always cover them up for me.

*He loves loves loves music & can play the guitar.

*He let's me be me and loves me for it.

*He knows how to take care of me.

*He let's me put my cold feet against his warm legs in bed.

*He'll throw my pillow off the bed trying to be funny but he always tells me where it went.

*When we go on trips he'll drive most of the way.

*He makes silly voices with me & comes up with the best nicknames.

*He let's me decorate our little home any way I want and funds most of it.

*He didn't kick me out when I didn't have a job :)

*He is always the first one to say sorry.

*He resolves things that I would just let go.

*He puts up with my family calling me 300 times and me calling them 600 times.

*He can be really really silly.

I could go on forever but mostly.....

*He loves me & I love him. Forever, For Always, No Matter What!!

Making his Debut.......

Brigham Kimball Gines

Born: January 17th @12:15 a.m

Weight: 7lbs. 13 ounces

20.5 Inches Long

Jason's sister Jamie & Hubby Judd had a beautiful baby boy a couple of weeks ago. Both Mommy and Baby Brigham are doing great and he has actually gained 2lbs since being home!!! He's a growing boy and we are so excited that we will be there for his blessing in utah on March 1st.

It's Going to get Real....

I sit here and read day after day the different struggles my friends go through. Friends I have known and loved for years and I feel I am not being honest with them or myself if I don't say something. I envy those of you that stand out and admit your struggles. I want you to know I am not just saying it when I state I know what you are going through. Just because I am the silent sufferer does not mean I don't understand.

It's been two years......two years since I lost our first baby. Why doesn't it get any easier? Can anyone answer that? There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it and every month when I get that dreadful visitor it's as if it is happening all over again. I flash back to the day I was stupid enough to go to the ultra sound by myself and hear what I had already been told the day before and somewhere deep down knew.

That is where it has stayed though....deep down. I am a silent sufferer not for myself but because I can see what it does to the ones I love when I show them even a fraction of what I feel everyday. I won't do that to them. I can say it though, I'm bitter. The one problem is there is no one to be mad at. I still believe in the Gospel, I know my Heavenly Father loves me. I know he is with me everyday and I know that because I am filled with the spirit the most when I struggle to hold it together. Church though.....church is my own personal hell, but not for the reasons you think. I love the spirit that I feel there and we have an amazing ward but 5 nursies of new babies is more than I can handle at times. If they didn't just have a baby they are pregnant, something that I am not sure will ever happen for me again. Don't get me wrong girls......I couldn't be more thrilled for you. I would never want someone to think that their happiest moment adds to my pain because that is not the case at least not intentionally.

So there you go...more than I am sure any of you thought possible and if you are still reading...I'm sorry you caught me in a moment of weakness. This is the first time I have ever written anything down about what happened two years ago yet the details are all embedded forever with me. I pray 2009 will hold more hope.

Happy Birthday Babe!

I know we are suppose to be celebrating Martin Luther King today but come on who is more important here.....JASON!! He turned the big 2-7 today and for the next three months I get to rub it in that he is 4 years older than me. We do have to give a shout out to Martin for making it possible that Jason get's the day off today. We enjoyed a late morning breakfast at ihop and then we were off to see Yes Man this afternoon which we thought was pretty funny. (Warning: that show has two parts that could have definitely been left out!!) Tonight we have dinner with my side of the family and Jason will get to open his presents. Until then I just want to let Jace know how much I love him and here are a few reasons why.........

He has a sense of humor that not a lot of people get to see. I know all of you think he is a pretty quiet guy but trust me he is the biggest crack up. Quick example anything that comes in pairs whether it be two horses on the side of the road or matching vehicles side by side Jason cannot refrain from calling them "friends" he will always say, "hey look hun...they're friends." And it's not in the way you or I would say it for some reason the word "friends" takes on a nasally sound. Don't as me why but it's hilarious.

This picture alone makes me cry....the way he is with my nephew Talan gives me hope that we might have that one day. I know he will be the most amazing father.

He's my best friend, the one person I can talk to regardless of how I feel and he knows just what to say to make everything ok. I can't say much more other than he's hot and he's all mine!!

~Happy Birthday Babe~